Letting Go!

There are a few things that I need to let go.  I can't seem to, haven't done it in years and now I'm starting to make my self a bit paranoid, like maybe I need counseling or something.  The truth is, I am afraid that most people wouldn't understand why I hold on anyway.  These things don't make me unhappy really; they just tend to occupy my mind.  That's what is now becoming frustrating.  My mind could be and needs to be occupied with something else, something better. 

In an effort to let go once and for all, I thought I'd write about it here.  Unfortunately, it feels like I am just hiding it.  I was hopeful that I would feel some sort of resolve to the issue and instead, feel that maybe I can't let go because I am still hanging on to what I used to be.  Is there harm in that, is there harm in trying to tuck away those bits so that someday the person that you used to be may return.  She wasn't so awful, she was just so childless!  And I guess that won't work, because I'll never be childless again.  Even when they grow up and move out, my children will still be apart of me. 

So now, as I type it is clear that I am going to have to set my mind to letting these things go and giving it to God.  "Lord, help me to live in the now, to serve you and my family.  Help me to be the woman and mother you want me to be.  Amen."